For me this was the easiest part to understand, although the hardest to practice. It’s just what the name says, you need to let everything go into space and the universe. Allow yourself to breath and know that perfection is not attainable. And that “expectation is a nasty beast, one that tends to ensnare us all” (113).
A happy and spiritual life is not led by passion, aggression or ignorance, and we must ultimately remind ourselves that everyone in the world wants to be happy. We’re only human, we look around ever corner for pleasure and continuously evaluate, maybe subconsciously, our choices on a pain-pleasure scale. Everyone is seeking happiness and everyone has hope, fear, and doubt. These feelings don’t make us any less human or less deserving of happiness. When you can push through the extreme feelings we are able to find our inner wisdom to guide us.
“He does what we long to do: he accepts whatever comes up in his life and rolls with whatever winds come his way.” (121)
Fear is a natural part of life and being strong isn’t about being fearless like I always believed. I thought that to be strong and independent I couldn’t show any fear so I put on a brave face and didn’t share any of my concerns with people. I’m slowing learning to break down that facade and share my fears because fear is natural. Being strong is about recognizing your fear and diving headfirst into it and coming out the other side stronger.
According to Rinzler, the second part of letting go is the understanding and acceptance of death. No body likes to talk about death, and even if they do it’s socially unacceptable in Western cultures so many turn towards Eastern studies and religions to understand death and what it means. If anything else it’s an outlet for understanding, for grieving, for moving on.
“Death is my friend, the truest of friends, a true friend that never abandons me.” —Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, mediation for birthdays
At the end of the day, no matter how difficult, depressing, or wrong it might seem, death is another part of life. It may seen morbid to think about death on your birthday and actually mediate on the thought when all you want to be doing is eating cake, but it serves as a remember of impermanence. Death reminds you to live your life to the fullest, and take advantage of what time you do have. So like the above mediation, death is a friend because he serves to remind us of just how precious and temporary our life really is.
In Buddhism, death is about acknowledging the simplest of truths, that things change. Relationships change. Feelings change. Circumstances change. Your life will change, it will cease to exist. Most people choose to hide from these simple truths and run from death, searching for the next stay young fad but challenging yourself to accept death is inevitable. If you were born, you will die.
Fear of death is what brings us down emotionally. When we watch someone die we fear our own death, the people we will leave behind and the suffering they’ll feel. It slowly pulls on us until it drags us down into a pit of fear. Again fear is natural but you need to face it, jump into it and come out stronger. Jump in. My name is Staci West. I was born July 1st, 1993. And I too will die. Those are the simple facts of life and death.
“It is not the world that makes us live in fear of change and death—we do that to ourselves.” (136)
Just let it go. Let go of the fear, embrace the unknown and make the most of what you have now in the world because we are all dying. We were born and we will die, there is no maybe or in-between. There are very few certainties in life and death is one of them. Don’t live your life in fear of change because a change is a new beginning and a new story. Make yourself a happy life now so that when you die you bring no regrets with you.
Learn to embrace your family, even if that means tense dynamics, because you surround yourself with the reality of aging and can see the true value of life. For the good and the bad, family is family and life is short, so make the most of it. It won't be there forever.
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