My Little Ruff

I think it's important for the record that I would normally never dress my dog up in clothes but when I saw it on sale I had to get it! I thought I would be wrestling Kendall into the shirt for just maybe one good picture but instead she sat so nicely and loved it, never fussed at it once. Knowing her, she just liked all the attention from people at the park.

Future NFL Rufferee 

Boyfriend Style

I'm not just obsessed with my own style and fashion, I love dressing my boyfriend in new colors and styles so I did a little fall shopping last week for him. Fall means comfy thermals and fitted flannels. He prefers things he can layer and I prefer things I can borrow :D 

Can't wait for him to get his newest care package next week filled with American snacks and these cozy new additions for his fall collection.

Flannel from J Crew: shop colors here

Halloween Throwback

TBT to Halloween two years ago in London.

It's crazy to think that two years ago I was celebrating Halloween in London and dressing up old school for the first time in forever. I miss London more and more everyday but it's moments like these when I get to reflect on the amazing memories I've made that make me even more thankful for the opportunity to study abroad.

Thinking about how completely different my life would be if my parents hadn't given me the opportunity to go to London for a semester two years ago. I wouldn't have meet my boyfriend, made some life long friends, and most importantly wouldn't have pushed myself to graduate early and start grad school overseas.

London was one of the greatest experiences I've had in my life thus far and I can honestly say I would not be the same person without having these experiences. Before London, I was insecure and didn't know how to appreciate myself or life and let go. After London, I became completely in love with life and everything it has to offer, all the experiences that await and who I am. I was no long self conscious and shy and learned to be completely me. I made the most amazing friends that I can honestly say I'll have for a lifetime no matter what.

This TBT is more than just a fun halloween picture, it's remembering that at this point I was finding who I was and finding the confidence within myself to pursue all the things I wanted in life. It's at this moment with crazy makeup, pink hair and wearing nothing but a bra and shorts I found the strength and courage to be me and love me for who I am.

Part Three: Letting Go into Space

For me this was the easiest part to understand, although the hardest to practice. It’s just what the name says, you need to let everything go into space and the universe. Allow yourself to breath and know that perfection is not attainable. And that “expectation is a nasty beast, one that tends to ensnare us all” (113). 

A happy and spiritual life is not led by passion, aggression or ignorance, and we must ultimately remind ourselves that everyone in the world wants to be happy. We’re only human, we look around ever corner for pleasure and continuously evaluate, maybe subconsciously, our choices on a pain-pleasure scale. Everyone is seeking happiness and everyone has hope, fear, and doubt. These feelings don’t make us any less human or less deserving of happiness. When you can push through the extreme feelings we are able to find our inner wisdom to guide us. 

“He does what we long to do: he accepts whatever comes up in his life and rolls with whatever winds come his way.” (121)

Fear is a natural part of life and being strong isn’t about being fearless like I always believed. I thought that to be strong and independent I couldn’t show any fear so I put on a brave face and didn’t share any of my concerns with people. I’m slowing learning to break down that facade and share my fears because fear is natural. Being strong is about recognizing your fear and diving headfirst into it and coming out the other side stronger. 

According to Rinzler, the second part of letting go is the understanding and acceptance of death. No body likes to talk about death, and even if they do it’s socially unacceptable in Western cultures so many turn towards Eastern studies and religions to understand death and what it means. If anything else it’s an outlet for understanding, for grieving, for moving on. 

“Death is my friend, the truest of friends, a true friend that never abandons me.” —Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, mediation for birthdays

At the end of the day, no matter how difficult, depressing, or wrong it might seem, death is another part of life. It may seen morbid to think about death on your birthday and actually mediate on the thought when all you want to be doing is eating cake, but it serves as a remember of impermanence. Death reminds you to live your life to the fullest, and take advantage of what time you do have. So like the above mediation, death is a friend because he serves to remind us of just how precious and temporary our life really is. 

In Buddhism, death is about acknowledging the simplest of truths, that things change. Relationships change. Feelings change. Circumstances change. Your life will change, it will cease to exist. Most people choose to hide from these simple truths and run from death, searching for the next stay young fad but challenging yourself to accept death is inevitable. If you were born, you will die.

Fear of death is what brings us down emotionally. When we watch someone die we fear our own death, the people we will leave behind and the suffering they’ll feel. It slowly pulls on us until it drags us down into a pit of fear. Again fear is natural but you need to face it, jump into it and come out stronger. Jump in. My name is Staci West. I was born July 1st, 1993. And I too will die. Those are the simple facts of life and death.

“It is not the world that makes us live in fear of change and death—we do that to ourselves.” (136)

Just let it go. Let go of the fear, embrace the unknown and make the most of what you have now in the world because we are all dying. We were born and we will die, there is no maybe or in-between. There are very few certainties in life and death is one of them. Don’t live your life in fear of change because a change is a new beginning and a new story. Make yourself a happy life now so that when you die you bring no regrets with you. 

Learn to embrace your family, even if that means tense dynamics, because you surround yourself with the reality of aging and can see the true value of life. For the good and the bad, family is family and life is short, so make the most of it. It won't be there forever. 

Finding Energy for School Again

Time to get back in the grove of school, breaks over and it’s back to another month of work before I can escape home for Thanksgiving. In all honestly, I’ve checked out of school at this point so I have no idea where I’m going to find the energy to care about all these small details that come along with school. I just know it’ll happen because it has too. I’ve never been one to give up and I do really love school, it’s just difficult when all I can think about is graduating. I keep thinking that graduation is less than seven weeks away and then I’ll be able to get out of here and see my boyfriend again and start a new chapter in my life. 

Growing up that was always a problem for me, I spend so much time focusing on the future and what’s going to happen that I forget to live in the moment and realize what’s going on around me. Part of me thought this blog would help, I’d have to stop and think about the present when I write but part of me will always be in the future in London. I think it’s only natural at this point, it’s finally happening, I’m finally moving and moving on with life, it’s natural to want to think about it and focus on it. The problem is knowing when I need to snap back to reality and think about the now, I’m not about to let all my hard work fall apart my final semester just because I can’t get my head out of London. 

So where am I going to find the motivation to get to Thanksgiving, to get through finals and graduate in December? I’m going to think about how far I’ve come and how I want to graduate with honors, I want to graduate at the level which I know I’m capable. I want to make my family proud of me and my accomplishments, but most importantly, I want to do it for me. I want everyone to know that I’m ready to move on with my life and start a new chapter with an amazing man by my side supporting me. 

I find the energy in knowing the harder I work and more effort I put in the less energy I have to worry about missing my boyfriend and feel depressed because I haven’t seen him in months. I’ll still have moments and pains of sadness for missing him and realizing he’s not with me when I need him but it’s never as bad when I have something else to obsess about, so hopefully between these writings and school I’ll manage my finals months of long distance. I just need to find my balance again after break and get back into the grove of school, reading, researching and writing again. 

Give Blood

GIVE BLOOD.
SAVE A LIFE.

Every few weeks I get a call from the American Red Cross asking for me to come in and donate blood and 2 out of 3 times I'll say yes and schedule an appointment. So when they called Wednesday I decided to schedule an appointment for Sunday. For starters I don't hate it, but mostly I'm O+ blood type, which means I'm a universal donor. Even though it's the most common blood type, it's also the most needed blood type so I donate. 

I have no sob story to share about how a blood donation saved my life or the life of someone close to me and that's why I donate. Nothing has ever happened, I just donate. 

Giving blood is one of the simplest ways to make a difference and help someone and you really can save a life and that's enough for me to take a hour out of my day to donate. The way I see it I donate around 4 times a year and each donation can be used for 3 people, meaning each year I help save 12 people for 4 hours of my time. The math's simple, it's completely worth it, so find your nearest Red Cross and go give blood and save a life. 

Sunday Outfit Details

Busy Sunday on a crisp fall day wearing beautiful colors this weekend. Such a comfy outfit for running around, fresh manicure, getting blood, and coffee date with my best friend in the entire world. The perfect Sunday.

When your nails match your outfit perfectly :D

[Kate Spade from Boo at the Zoo Outfit Post]

Scarf-- Charming Charlie (Abby Retro Stripes Scarf) here

Sweater-- Ann Taylor (no longer on website)

Leggings-- Ann Taylor (Faux Leather Ponte Leggings) here

Nails-- OPI: Kiss Me- Or Elf! here

Lipstick-- Revlon (Wine with Everything #520) here 

Sunday Drives

Took some time today to drive around with the windows down and enjoy the view. Growing up I took the hills and leaves changing color in the fall for granted. I focused too much on the horrible winters, hours spent in traffic and any number of negatives. Today though I made a point to take the back roads slow and look out my window at the scenery I've had all my life with a fresh pair of eyes. 

It's always fun to come home and sad to leave

 Perspective is everything. 

 

Pumpkins, Pumpkins, Pumpkins

Let's Carve Pumpkins !!

A beautiful fall Saturday afternoon means stopping to buy pumpkins and be a kid again. So I spent my Saturday night watching tv and craving my pumpkins and feeling like a teenager all over again. I couldn't believe it but I convinced my dad to watch That Awkward Moment, and although it got a few good laughs out of him he wasn't overly impressed. At least I got to work on my pumpkin and share some good wine with my favorite man. 

Let the games begin...

The Witch of the West

For not carving a pumpkin in two years I thought I did a pretty good job, even if it was something relatively simple I was happy with it. Something about carving pumpkins, family movies and wine nights makes growing up not seem so bad, it's the best of both worlds; alcohol and fun.

Did you all carve pumpkins? What did you carve? Share in the comments :) 

What I Wore: Boo at the Zoo

Saturday's Outfit Details: 

Flannel: J Crew Flannel shirt in Buffalo Check (here)

Statement Necklace: Charming Charlie (on sale, but similar looks here)

Ankle Boots: Crown Vintage-- Sandy Boots (here)

Purse: Kate Spade-- Cedar Street Maise (color: ballet slipper here)

It's in the details 

Boo at the Zoo

Boo at the Zoo and some much needed family time...

The Philadelphia Zoo is already a crazy experience but when you fill it with a bunch of kids and families in costumes on the search for candy it becomes a zoo in a zoo. Luckily, it was an absolutely beautiful day and we had the cutest little lion by our side and who loved it, despite the crowds.

The cutest lion I ever did see

I'll take any opportunity to get cuddles, kisses or fun selfies from my niece, Emily, so when she picked me to do the carousel with her I was honored. Most kids would be fascinated with the animals or the lion roaring in the background but Emily's highlight was the carousel ride and we had a blast. She was smiles and giggles the whole time we were on the ride.

Besties 

And while I love spending time with Emily, it's really a group experience. Being far away, I haven't had a lot of time to watch Emily grow up and even less with my sister, Jenn, who I've had a rocky past with growing up. Days out like this are the perfect opportunity to have a fun girls day out with the little one (who wouldn't have been able to tackle our all day outlet experience the day before) and I completely soaked up the day and memories with these girls.

Capturing moments like this are especially important because...

1...2...3... ROAARRRR

...they make the ten hour drive home for just a long weekend worth it.

xoxo

Go Big, Or Go Home

One does not simply "go to the outlets" and "be good."

It's also not possible to behave yourself when shopping with your mom and sister who are just as bad as you and terrible influences. Also, I'm completely obsessed with fall fashions and fun styles to play around with. 

Be prepared for some fun new outfits and styles to the blog. 

(Stores shown: Ann Taylor, Kate Spade, J Crew, Gap, Talbots, White House Black Market, Tommy Hilfiger, and Charming Charlie

Specific details to come when I wear them)

What I Wore & What I Bought

A little bit of rain won't dull my fashion, or my heels, for that matter.

Nothing like striking a pose on a rooftop garage to show off my new shoes :)

These shoes are my everything this fall. 

After lunch I had to take my computer in to be serviced and since they made my wait I decided to pop into Nordstroms for a look around and might have made away with some fun new treats for myself. 

Band.do back up charger (which has already saved me twice since buying it)
Yves Saint Laurent lipsticks (Rouge Volupte Shine #13, #5)

Shop the lipsticks here

Shop the ban.do back up charger here

When in Doubt, Mimosas

Mimosas Please

Coming home just a few times every year means I have to make the time count, meaning I'm very busy and my visits are usually stressful, so when I make time for lunch I have to have mimosas and I feel zero guilt about drinking at 11 in the morning on a Thursday.

I also make time to see the people who've been there from the beginning, the people who stood by me when I had no idea what I was doing in life and listen to me ramble on a daily basis. The people who accept me for what I am, craziness and all. 

Seafood bisque bread bowl. Ah real bread. *swoon*

It's rare for people to still talk to people from high school, let alone their grade school, but when it works, it works. I'm not saying we haven't had rough patches, because believe me when I say I was a class A bitch growing up, but I like to think I've mellowed out and become a better person.

Regardless, it was the quickest two hour lunch I've ever had. You can tell when you're in good company and the conversation just flows. You don't have to worry about awkward silences, strange gaps in the conversation, and it's not fluff. Real, stimulating conversation is what you find in old friends.

Also, I might have jumped at the chance to eat real bread again, not that I don't love being gluten free for how it makes me feel, but sometimes you just need a bread bowl. 

Needless to say it was one of the better lunches I've had in a while and it makes me sad to leave again, the hardest part about always leaving is leaving the amazing friends I've made throughout the years. I've been through thick and thin with these people and it's not the same to talk via text and Skype. Sharing stories is always better with great food and of course, mimosas.  

Fall Break: The Joys of Wawa Coffee

You're not home until you have your first Wawa coffee.

There are some things that I instantly love about being home, the mild weather, meaning I can finally wear a scarf all day without dying, and the familiarity of Wawa coffee. For people who haven't grown up in the northeast it can seem a strange craving for gas station coffee but Wawa is so much more than just a gas station. It's comfort for someone who spend their whole high school career living off Wawa coffee, sandwiches and late night runs on a daily basis. Stopping at Wawa isn't just about checking something off the to-do list or the standard instagram picture, it's about remembering where you've come from to see how how you've gone. 

But most importantly it's just really good coffee on the go to fuel you up for a day of shopping. It's the little things that make home, home. 

Part Two Reflection: How to Save the World

After spending the last three years studying Criminal Justice and International Studies in university, reading a statement like this makes me more than curious. This is the goal right? Saving the world? Helping people? Leaving a lasting mark? I can imagine that I’m biased since these were my reasoning for choosing said area of study but still we all must want to save or help someone. And while there’s no manual for life, there are some good suggestions for a more positive life.

So how exactly do we save the world? Simple, share an open heart. Open your heart and show compassion, you’re path in life isn’t only just about you, but instead recognizing the suffering around you and forging a path to create a difference. Mahayana teachings view the path of enlightenment as taking into account others’ happiness onto their own path. Just cultivate happiness, be it a funny text, simple snapchat, or positive comment on facebook or instagram, these could all be a small step in the right direction. In a society where social media documents our every move, it’s easy to criticize or overlook others posts and only focus on yourselves. We refresh the page and look for comments and count the number of likes, but instead of focusing on ourselves, take a moment to share the love with your friends, your family, classmates and neighbors. Spread the love. Spread the happiness.

“The heart that yearns to connect with your world and to help others is known in the Buddhist tradition as bodhichitta. Bodhichitta is a Sanskrit word that can be translated as ‘awake heart.’” (p. 63)

Bodhichitta is ultimately a reflection of our capacity to love and be loved. You don’t need to follow Buddhist teachings to seek love, it’s simple human nature, we seek connections with people and a closeness. In order to love another you must first love yourself. Love the person that you are and the person you’re striving to become.

How to do we practice bodhichitta? As with all good things it takes practice but it’s not impossible, it’s not difficult and doesn’t rely on hours of mediation. The basis is simple, do not allow yourself to get weighed down by negative emotions, be a source of positively. “In Shambhala Buddhism, we say that a root emotion that weighs us down is doubt” (p 68) which causes us to feel disconnected from our inner goodness and spiritual path. I don’t need anyone to remind me that doubt is a source of negative energy in my life.

This is a big struggle for me on a daily basis, doubting myself, my actions, my choices. Doubt can manifest in our lives through varies forms. As anxiety, “is this really what I want to be doing with my life? Is grad school the right decision? Should I just get a job instead?” As jealousy, “why didn't they invite me to the party? Is it because they don’t think of me as a friend? They don’t view us as equals?” As forgetfulness, “mediation hasn’t been working for me so it’s okay to take a few months off. Skipping the gym because you ‘forgot’ when you’re not seeing results and begin to doubt yourself.” As arrogance, “doubt’s a part of life, let me tell you about how accepting it changed by life and is a shortcut to enlightenment.” As slandering, “you didn’t help me get the grade I want, you’re a teacher/tutor/mentor, you don’t know anything. Or even simple office room gossip.” And even a lack of synchronization between mind and body, “you’re focused on the thoughts in your head that you over pour a cup of tea or forget the number of sugars you added and make it too sweet.”

It’s not about not feeling the doubt, it’s about learning how to recognize and move past these emotions. Belief that the doubt I might be feeling is not a reflection of my inner goodness. I am still fundamentally good, instead I must be present in the moment. Learning to accept and have faith in my innate wisdom and my goodness. Not allowing myself to enter into a cycle of self loathing and trust that I’m loved and respected. The first step is loving and respecting myself by not continually focus on my doubts. Learning to be confident in yourself.

“Opening the heart, without conditions, is our path. It is the compassionate way to live in our world. We may get hurt, but if we want to grow and find true love, or strive to love all beings, bodhichitta is the way to go.” (p 83)

In Tibetan our natural energy is known as lungta, which can be translated to windhorse. Now I don’t know about you but that sounds like a pretty awesome name for my inner energy. But why do we care about it? Because it’s the energy of our life, it’s through the energy of our windhorse we find energy for the day. So when you’re feeling drained and negative about the day it’s because you’re not tapping into your windhorse (just try and tell me that’s not cool because I won’t believe you).

When I read this, I was so excited because it means those days when I’m completely full of energy and happy thoughts and practically bouncing off the walls and throwing myself a dance party (yes, that's a regular occurrence), it’s because I’m riding my windhorse. That’s my natural energy being unleashed. It’s a reflection of how connected you are with the world and it’s what allows you to open your heart in negative situations. It allows you to not run from difficult situations but instead be present and accept them, lean into them and push forward. It opens you to the world and reflects your natural energy in life and shares it with other people. That is so freaking cool.

Now I don’t know about you but I don’t want to ignore a horse inside of me, I want him or her (because I haven’t decided on a name and yes I’m giving my windhorse a name) to be my best friend, I want them to have room to run wild because I want to share that positively with every single person. I want to share my natural energy with the world. The question is not why do I want to share my energy but how to make it a regular occurrence instead of a one off experience. How do I compound my energy filled positive days to where I don’t know any different?

Discipline. Now I’m not talking about negativity disciplining yourself with punishment or the discipline it takes to go to the gym on a regular basis, because honestly I have none. But discipline instead as a source of happiness. The discipline it takes to say run a blog, post regularly, or maybe calling your parents every Sunday at 8pm to catch up about your week. These are all a form of discipline and when you reflect on them as a point of success and virtue, they bring happiness, they reflect a positive source of energy in your life. When you’re able to apply discipline to virtue you develop more faith in your inner goodness and believe to accept it. Once you’re able to accept you’re good you can share more and begin to radiant love. Radiant positive energy.

The best way to apply this and seek bodhichitta on a daily basis is by following the six paramitas (transcendental actions) to help you loosen up your own ego and observe the bigger picture:

Generosity: Accepting what you’re capable of giving and giving just a little more. Knowing that these actions will give you future chances to become a kinder person and develop.

Discipline: Be present and courageous with your heart and follow your own spiritual path. Stick to your beliefs and engage in actions that bring you joy and happiness. Stay positive.

Patience: This doesn’t mean wait and see what’s going to happen but rather be open to whatever comes your way and accept it as part of your path. Do not reject obstacles but grow from them.

Joyous Exertion: The natural happiness and energy that occurs when you reconnect with your heart and find inspiration for your journey (unleashing your windhorse). Don’t allow life to become a hassle, embrace the world around you.

Meditation: Be aware of how you can best help those around you. And when life gives you obstacles allow meditation to be a source of growth.

Prajna: Develop your own superior knowledge. Be aware of what’s happening in life so you can see things as they truly are. Don’t allow yourself to look at life through rose colored glasses. Instead, see the flaws and learn from them. Always continue to learn.



So what does any of this so far have to do with saving the world? Well, when you can learn to apply these six paramitas to your life and society as a whole, you will inevitably save the world. But before you can get to that point, you need to accept that your spiritual journey is not only about you, it’s about making a difference in the world. Shift your thinking from “me” to “we” and then beginning to help the world.

Start in your daily life and practice patience with your coworkers, practice discipline with your family, be generous with your time and energy to friends and those you shrug off. All of these teachings can be practiced on a daily basis. When you can apply them to your friends and family move to your neighbors, your state, your country, and then share with the world.

“The beauty of these teachings is that by bringing bodhichitta to all aspects of your life, you are not only offering compassion to others, but you will find true joy in yourself.

The world is hungry for these qualities of mindfulness and compassion. It needs a new generation of leaders who aspire for a culture based on empathy and wisdom. We can be those leaders. We can create an enlightened society. We can help transform the world with the power of an open heart.” (p 109)

STAY POSITIVE AND UNLEASH YOUR WINDHORSE.

A Hard Working Puppy

I've officially checked out for break.
All work from here on out will be completed by Kendall. #wishmeluck

Break is too close for me to focus. I can't wait to get out of here and back home, for the first time in three years I actually feel homesick. I feel like I'm missing too much back home and I can't wait to be back and see friends and family again. And for once, driving 10 hours each way doesn't seem to matter, because I'll get some quality time with the fam and a much needed change in scenery.

Decompress the Weekend

Bubbles are always a good thing.

Nothing welcomes a new week like decompressing in a bubble bath with rose candles flickering away. I love alone time when I can reflect on the last week and focus on what's happening in my life and what's to come.

Although, it's difficult to stay calm knowing break is only 2 days away and I get to go home. However, I did manage to focus enough energy on the next reflection piece for The Buddha Walks into a Bar on 'How to Save the World.' I would say something like that deserves reflection (and some tweaking afterwards).

Spoiler for tomorrow's post: 

a persons natural energy is a windhorse...just think about that

I'll be in bed all day, thank you.

Coffee Shortage

The only way I leave the house in my glasses
is due to a shortage of coffee, demanding a morning Starbucks run. 

Sunday morning simply can't happen without coffee. My Sunday morning routine is very simple, coffee in bed while I watch last weeks Scandal and How to Get Away with Murder. Then I putz about for a while before actually giving into the work that's calling my name. All of this can't happen without coffee so imagine my surprise when I woke up to find no coffee.

While most people would just suffer through a day without coffee, I instead threw on some leggings and button down with a big scarf, added a touch of eyeliner and mascara and left the apartment in my glasses (which never happens) and went to Starbucks to restock our coffee and get myself a delicious vanilla latte to bring back to bed with me and my shows.

The rest of the day will now take place in my bed.
Happy Sunday xx

A Carolina Cocktail

People here take for granted how nice it is to be able to sit outside and have a cocktail (made with sweet tea) in October! It's weird to be wearing shorts and sitting outside on a Friday afternoon acting like it's spring and school isn't happening. I think it's fair to say I've checked out of this week and am ready for fall break!

Saturday for Myself

Sometimes the stress of school and life seems unreal. My calendar is filled with deadlines, post-it notes, reminders and notes to self. My TBR (to be read) pile is growing at a steady pace and the stack of fashion magazines taunting me while I work has grown considerably since school started. So today I gave in to the magazines and pushed all post-its and deadlines aside. 

Fashion with a side of Starbucks

It can be hard to balance relaxing and "me time" with what needs to get done but sometimes you just need a day for yourself. For me, I was surrounded by eight backlogged magazines, multiple cups of coffee and three snuggly pups. And lounging around in your boyfriends sweatpants, a plain white t-shirt that you inevitably stole from a friend, wet hair and no makeup was the ultimate lazy day.

Learn to love yourself.

Make time for yourself this weekend. 

Let's Celebrate

Everything should be red velvet and lipstick should be red and worn often. Coffee and tea are necessary for life. I want to travel everywhere and read everything. I want to get lost to find adventure. And drink champagne like water because everyday's a celebration! 

Relaxing on Friday

A new book means I can't put it down. 

From a Starbucks break in between classes to a night cuddled with some puppies, I couldn't stop reading. I started reading Landline by Rainbow Rowell on Thursday and when I picked it up again today, I literately couldn't put it down.

I guess that means back to school reading and work...

I Believe in...

I believe in everything red velvet. I believe in coffee in the morning and tea during the day. I believe in the beauty of travel and dreaming completely. I believe in tattoos and carrying a camera. I believe in never underestimating the power of a good book. I believe in the power of words and the importance of art. 

Get Lost, Find Adventure, Live Colorfully. Be You.

A Like Selfies and Bling

A few selfies never hurt anyone right...

Anything that doesn't require additional jewelry and getting ready is perfect when I'm running late but still want to look cute for class (so most days, honestly). This sweater is everything for me right now, light and soft with just the right amount of bling for my selfies ;)

People should smile more. 

Leave Sparkles Whenever You Go

When you have to stay up all night studying for what could possibly be the hardest midterm of your college career you need some sparkles to get you through.

My new fall staple: SEQUINS

Part One: First, Get Your Act Together

I know as well as anyone that is much easier said than done, however it’s still the title in my newest book for guidance, The Buddha Walks into a Bar…:A Guide to Life for a New Generation, by Lodro Rinzler. Now, I’m not going to preach why Buddhism, mediation, and yoga are the answers to life but I am going to reflect and share important everyday lessons of Buddhism through this book because it’s extremely relatable.

The book is written by Lodro Rinzler, a meditation practitioners and teacher aimed to reaching a younger generation. Maybe you’ve heard a talk on a college campus tour or read his column onHuffington Post, either way something can be learned from his writings. Part one, getting your act together. How? Meditation. (I know I said I wouldn’t preach but Rinzler teaches meditation and it’s a book about Buddhism, you had to expect this at some point.)

The introduction explains that this is not your normal mediation book and it’s not designed to target only a Buddhist audience so I challenge you to keep an open mind as we continue. One of my favorite aspects of Buddhist teaching is the importance of remaining present, be present with your breath, be present with your emotions and be present with the world. Again this can be easier said than done, so insert meditation practice here.

I’m not a gifted mediator and I have to continually regroup and remind myself to focus on my breath and bring myself back to what’s happening, the important thing to remember is it takes time. Five to ten minutes is normally all the time I have in the morning to mediate to myself with a clear mind before I tackle a busy day. It’s not prefect, but it’s learning. Baby steps people, it’s about progress and self-reflection.

“One of the beautiful things about Buddhism is that it does not worship Buddha as a god or deity, but instead celebrates the Buddha as an example of a normal person like you and me who applied a good deal of discipline and gentleness to his mediation practice, and ended up opening his mind and heart in a very big way.” (p 6)

I don’t know about you but hearing that the person I’m following is normal, celebrated and not worshipped is humbling and puts things into perspective. The Buddha was once an average person, he was in his twenties, confused and like most people wanted to make a change. Buddhism, for me personally, is not about following a specific path to enlightenment but finding your own path and sharing those experiences with the world and finding peace within yourself.

We must first, “love ourselves, so that we can be available to love the world” (p 10).

I mentioned earlier being present with your breathe, well what exactly does that mean. I won’t go into the specific mediation practices and focuses on breath (but I would suggest this book if you want to know more) instead I’ll tell you what it means to me. Being present with my breath means when I’m stressing about an assignment or family drama, stepping back and paying attention to what’s actually happening. Maybe taking a step back from the computer, clearing my mind of deadlines and questions and focusing on breathing in and out and keeping that focus and presence when I refocus on the task at hand. This type of breathing recognition helps you pay attention to what’s really going on around you and how you’re reacting. When your mind is racing a mile and minute your breath will ground you in the present.

“Being aggressive, you can accomplish some things, but with gentleness, you can accomplish all things.” —Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche (qtd. p 20)

Don’t be so hard on yourself! It’s not going to help anything, I promise, I’ve learned the hard way. Be gentle and forgiving to yourself and learn to accept yourself. When you can be kind to yourself and you can share that kindness with others, you will begin to open your heart to the world. Let the goal be to leave a positive mark on the world, a mark that begins with you and your place in the world. Learn to accept and love yourself and the rest will come. When you are able to posses both an open-mind and an open-heart, you will influence the world in a positive way, but the first step remains within ourselves. Remember that you can not change the world without first accepting yourself and accepting the world.

Keep an open-mind and share your open-heart. Establish your core beliefs and let your life stem from those beliefs. In Buddhism, it would be called a mandala, a way to organize your beliefs and thoughts into rings stemming from the inside-out. When you stop and focus on your breath think about your personal mandala, what are your core beliefs and how does the present activity reflect that, where does it fit on your path.

So, if you’re like me and stress about school and grades (or maybe work deadlines), stop and focus on your breath. I take a moment to ground myself to the present I ask myself where this falls on my mandala, will an A in a particular class versus a B+ really effect my career, effect my ability to be successful in grad school, effect my ability to travel, effect my spiritual journey, etc. The answer most likely is no, those extra 3 points that I’m driving myself crazy for and giving myself a headache over will not matter in five months. This is a grounding thought for me, it brings me back to the present moment when I’m able to put things in perspective against my own personal mandala or beliefs. Relating everything you do back to your core beliefs will help infuse your life with positive thoughts. Don’t get caught up in measuring yourself against someone else’s mandala because they are on their own path.

“Having a core motivation you believe in breeds a sense of ease and skill around working with others. You let your motivation shine, and other people are attracted to your passion and commitment.” (p 28)

Buddhism is not about being a “robot,” it’s about learning to feel your emotions and control them, not letting them control you. Again, I won’t go into the mediation and practice but once again focusing on your breath and putting the situation into perspective can help. Do not let your emotions control you and spin you out of control, instead calm yourself and deal with the emotions in a healthy manner. The controlling of emotions, helps promote peace and kindness on the outside and on the inside you are able to development a gentle relationship within yourself. A relationship of learning to listen to your emotions and what they’re telling you, forgiving yourself for the thoughts or actions, and learning from the experience.

There will be times when you feel jealously, anger, or annoyance towards people you see on a daily basis or even work with, this is natural, but instead of lashing out either outwardly or in your head, take a step back. Accept what you’re feeling and know you’re not perfect, find your breath and ask yourself why, are you only focusing on yourself, are you honestly paying attention to their situation, just remember that they’re like you too. Everyone of us to flawed in some way and looking to improve our lives, when we can accept we’re all on the same path you’ll be more accepting.

If there’s anything you take away from part one, let it be this: getting your act together is about living in the moment and focusing on the present. Do not let yourself get so caught up in the routine and daily grind of your life and job that you forget to stop and look around, smell the roses, experience the beauty of the world as it’s presented to you.

“Treating our world as sacred is one way we can relax. It can be refreshing to take a break and just be present with the world around us, and experience the beauty of our life.” (p 43)

So pause. Take a minute to listen to the world around you. Close your eyes and listen to your breath. Listen to your body. Feel how you are alive. Feel your inner strength. Focus on your path. You are who you’re meant to be. You have goodness in your heart, allow yourself to unlock it. Share your love with the world.

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Truffles

The "no bake" Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Truffles

Ingredients

• 1/2 c. butter, softened
• 3/4 c. firmly packed brown sugar
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract
• 2 c. all-purpose flour
• 1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
• 1/2 c. semisweet mini chocolate morsels
• 1 bags of either semisweet or milk chocolate chips, melted 

Directions

1. In a large bowl, cream butter and brown sugar with an electric mixer at medium speed until creamy. Add vanilla. 
2. Gradually beat in flour and milk, alternating flour and milk.
3. Add 1/2 c. chocolate morsels mixing well by hand.
4. Shape into 1-inch balls. Place on wax paper.
5. Chill for 2 hours.
   
6. Melt additional chocolate in double boiler or microwave, stirring frequently. Using 2 forks, dop cookie balls into chocolate and roll until covered. 
7. Place on wax paper and chill to set. Store in the refrigerator for as least an hour. 

Enjoy my new favorite dessert!!

But First, Champagne

“Drink champagne when you least expect it. Don’t set limitations to just special occasions and life milestones. Make everyday significant. Make everyday a celebration. Drink champagne in crystal glasses with pizza on paper plates. Have cupcakes and champagne for dinner. Throw a dance party while you pour the bubbly. And remember to laugh. Remember to enjoy life because it’s fleeting. So drink the champagne, be carefree, and be happy.”

--Staci West 

Being able to write and study outside well into October is one of my favorite things about living in South Carolina. Something about being outside makes working so much easier and it's less painful to read and write about human trafficking on a daily basis.

(If you look closely you can see 'The Buddha Walks into a Bar' in the corner as my break time reading and blog topic)

Where Do You Start?

What do you write for a first blog post when you’ve never written a blog before? Do you dive right in? Ease into it? Go sit at Starbucks and stare at the screen for twenty minutes before even writing the date, like I’m doing? 

I guess a why is in order and honestly I have no idea, I’m probably crazy. I wanted a way to keep in touch with everyone back home when I move in December, a way to share my life in more than just a caption on a picture. So naturally my next idea was a blog, I could write whats happening and explain the story, events, and feelings behind the pictures on my social media. It hopefully will also save me time in not having to tell the same story over and over in various messages and emails once I”m away. Also a little reflection and therapy wouldn’t go amiss. 

Since this was meant to be geared towards the stories while I’m in London and my experiences it might be weird to start two and half months in advance but this is me easing into it and the blogging world. Also, it allows me to share the crazy stress that is my final semester as an undergrad and the planning behind moving not only me but also the eighty pound, high maintenance, spastic dog, that is Kendall. She may be crazy but she’s my crazy, which means she’s coming along for the ride no matter how stressful it is to get her there.

Hopefully, I can stick with this and learn how to write a story that people actually want to read. Wish me luck!

xx